Sorry if you've already thought of this one, but why not take the three hour run down to Shrewsbury yourself and talk with the local Brown guys in person? The kids on the phone from 1-800 UPS-hell don't give a hoot, but if you show up there you might get some action if they can put a face to the name, and you can explain how important it is that they find it... you might even go home with it. And you can take in a Red Sox game at the same time... that way you're bound to have at least one disappointment!
Pisten Bulley is Harry Roberts in Vermont.